Black Angel Wings

They come like an impending horror
Settle around you like death
Clench your heart
Suck your breath


They arrest your sanity
Steal you of speech
Leave you void
In an abyss far from reach

Black angel wings of disbelief
What you hear, what you see
Neither making sense, a felony
A dead spirit
Barren of sentiments
Mute in comprehension
Stripped of power
 As Black Angel Wings embrace me

A connoisseur of light and shadow

A connoisseur of light and shadow
Blowing golden winds upon the temple of pain
Finding your way through the throng of words
Picking out the spark of fire from the pouring rain

A strum of the harp, a chime of color
The glass between honestly and a facade
Blowing petals of hanging cherry blossoms
Telling tales of brittle ancient forests clad

In the sea of candles the one reflecting flame
Among the thousand blue clouds the one hiding the rays
Wearing a halo of aspirations in the presence of time
Revealing beauty locked in a bottle of May

Be the wave upon wave, Light reflecting light
The discerning line dividing the horizon, playing each part
Be the cook of each culture, flavor of each emotion
The veins of each petal, the history of each bark

A connoisseur of light and shadow
Playing each second, writing each name
Lighting the candles
Being the flame

Maria Yousuf

Dedicated to Stuck In Time

Uncertainty

Your ashes, my heart
Your memories I'd sought
I Wept and lived
I Sang and hid

From myself and you
From lies and truth
From the plank that led
To stark decisions and uncertainty

Will I sink, float?
Swim, reach the shore?
Will I survive, die?
Drown in misery yours or mine?

Stagnant waves
Smeared Ashes
A burnt picture
Scarred on my soul

Maria Yousuf

Picture in the Frame

I lit our picture in the frame
Hoping to burn your memories
I watched our faces ablaze
Watched as they flooded me

My wet eyes said all in silence
Streamed over the almost burnt memory
I watched as the last traces shriveled in my hand
The ashes piled in agony

Felt my heart to see if you left
Heard my beat for your absence
To my dismay your burnt ashes now reigned
Became the sovereign of my presence

The picture in the frame
Now etched upon my soul
Engraved upon my heart
Made me whole

Maria Yousuf

A Frozen Waterfall

Devoid of its Nature
Barren of its Essence
Hollow of the sentiments that once made it whole

Abandoned by the warmth
Laying in the cold
Piercing icicles of its past woes

Locked in its misery without release
Lost in a destiny stripped of speech
A frozen Waterfall preserved its soul
For summers to come and make it whole

Maria Yousuf

Where I choose to Stand

In tints of green and gray

The shore greets me

The tender waves bow below

Tickle my advancing feet

The rays of dawn kiss the rugged peaks that surround me

Create a halo around me

Make me giddy

Spread a smile

I loose myself in the tranquility

Feel the waves of joy rolling

I Loose myself in the rhythm and melody

Let them pull me into oblivion

Reality seems surreal

The existing hollow asunder

I rely upon beliefs in castles of sand

and wish to abide within

I can pick up a handful of sand

But never count the grains

one by one

a million to none

I can fling them in the sea

But in the end they will all come back to me

So I choose to blind them

Rid them entirely

I chase an illusion created with rainbows

Believe in my castles of sand

Never let the haze of my dream settle

That is where I choose to stand

Maria Yousuf

Handful of Sand

She lets the wind dry her tears

Lets the sea sooth her

Lets the waves caress her feet
Lets the tranquility move her

Turns to see

The reason of her misery

Clenches a handful of sand

And Flings it against the wind

It all dissipates

Like the sand grains against the wind

It all scatters in an instant

That's How long Misery Lasts

Like a Handful of Sand against the Wind

Maria Yousuf

Give In

Most things are better left unsaid.
You feel your heart clench and hold in the scream that threatens to escape.
Ache spreads within but silence has you chained
Not allowed to say what you feel.
From the beginning to the end
You accept that hurt and make it your destiny, your fate.
You don't try because conscience has cuffed you
You don't try because the right decisions have seized you
You Don't Try, You Give In

Maria Yousuf

Composed of You

You live in my every beat 

I may forget you in your silence

But when you reappear

Your presence reminds me 

That my heart is wholly composed by you

Every inch of my heart testifies

That you've come back

I am composed of you

Maria Yousuf

Lets sink our feet in the grains of sand
Feel the warmth course through
Lets let the tides lap at our feet
Be alone with silence me and you

Maria Yousuf

An impending danger lurks and I follow into it sane
Just to be lost and not found again

Lost in the maze of my identity

The maze that defines me

Following the print on my fingers

Incognizant to their presence

Maria Yousuf

It drips from the bristles onto the smooth surface

Sweet and bold

As it journeys further

It fades to weak

Life...watercolors

Maria Yousuf

I wouldn't want tears over my corpse

Wouldn't want wails biding me goodbye

I wouldn't want sorrow shadowing my coffin

Or thoughts of a sad demise

I'd want smiles on the faces of my fare wells

Would want joy to shelter my memory

I'd want gratitude for my final journey

And prayers of forgiveness as my canopy

Make me not a memory or a dream

I was born to be buried

Am living to die

And breathing to be tested

Eventually, I'll fade away

Maria Yousuf

A pang of hurt

Breaks and spreads

Invites unidentifiable silence and tears

Maria Yousuf

My sentiments are easily bruised

Sometimes I know, often I don't

My throbbing silence testifies something is wrong

Maria Yousuf

Hurt courses through my veins

Stings my being

A splinter in my smile

Until it finds an exit through my tears

Maria Yousuf

The most secluded place is within yourself
When you pull yourself within no one can reach you
No one can hear you or know what it is you are going through
Since you know they may not always understand

Maria Yousuf

Sometimes you see the silent abyss
Hugging you, embracing you
And all you can do is give in

Maria Yousuf

You think silence will mend what is broken?
It will only wound all the more
And permanently engrave the scars

Maria Yousuf

Like a Sand Storm
Pricking my sight when its roaring
Uneasy & pinching
Silent remains when its over
Innocent, like nothing happened

Maria Yousuf

The Darkness will always be a refuge

For my tears

For my secrets

Maria Yousuf

I don't want silence to kiss my lips
Don't want to become a mute
I don't want void to echo my speech
Don't want words to transmute

Maria Yousuf

I can smell the winter coming
Feel the pleasures of heat
Hear the chilly mornings
See the whispers discrete

Maria Yousuf

Lets ride the midnight
Ride upon the waves of the silver moonlight
Gaze at the songs in each others eyes
Live every moment as a lifetime

How I feel

I weep for your pain

Cry for your scars

So many broken hearts

So many hurt lives

The loss of a loved one

A sinnners identity

Only a few of the stories i have come across

And there are still so many

Whose to listen to whose to not

How to help them out?

How to eschew their ache?

What do i do for the pain i see

I can't live knowing someone is in misery :'(

Break down your walls

Take off your armor

Abandon your ego

and show me who you are

I've begun to break away from you
I can already see the slow decomposition
I won't turn around and seek you
If I am lost in oblivion

By far the hardest questions are the ones where you have to decide

The choice of one among many

The choice of best among beauty

But all gems own their own splendor

How do you compare excellence with excellence

Unique with special?

And amazing with wonderful?

The distinction of wanting and thoughts perhaps?

Or reciprocate what the inquirer wants

By far the hardest questions are the ones where you have to decide

I battle currents of wind and sea

Steer over defiant waves

But when the war wounds and kills me

A ship wreck is all it takes

Maria Yousuf

A crevice in my soul

A peek you take

But then I close it

And say it was all fake

Trickery and lies

My oldest games

Maria Yousuf

If I get imprisoned by silence, I'll never find a way out

My heart'll be sealed and my lips be locked

Lies or truth, feelings or thoughts

You wont ever find me in rain or drought

Maria Yousuf

Words live longer than voices

Count your word not your volume

Despite the broken links I still enjoin

It is not you who I expect from, its HIM

You chose to not give me smiles but I know HE will

Maria Yousuf

Silence has become my language

But I still communicate

Look for what I don't say

And you will hear me speak

Maria Yousuf

Who sings of my melancholy?

My lamenting woes and tears

Who wrung them into despair?

Your lies, stabs and fears

Maria Yousuf

I am stained with my mistakes

With nowhere to hide and no escape

I yearn for time to rewind

And make me a spotless soul

Maria Yousuf

We are like the shore and sea
Running parallel but never one
Knowing that, yet not accepting defeat

For miles we run side by side
Distinguished by dichotomy
The grain and drop, the wet and dry

We share moments in time over and over again
The sunsets and dawn sky
The silence and seasons’ lives

Our love
A compromise, a challenge
A force to be reckoned and strength to be envied

Maria Yousuf

I reside in an asylum of passion of your gravity

You may not know when it disappeared but you will realize the change

Change is what I had feared and now nothing is the same

May it be for what you did or didn't do, nothing can help now

I'm hollow of the sentiments I once had, the thoughts I thought about

A veil that covers my sentiments

A fake that wears my crown

Lies and unspoken words

A mirror that reciprocates my smile

Upside down into a frown

Unembraceable happiness

Before letting the ship sail

You hesitate to let the strong ropes slip

You will be standing at the dock after all

Watching it leave

Slaughtered hopes, gagged laughs

Stabbed happiness, silenced vows

Flying dead with Crimson wings

Maria Yousuf

After all the seasons pass

And the ripples settle

I'll stand my trunk in the midst of the pasture

Haiku By Maria Yousuf

You can survive alone but not live

To live is to share and rejoice together

Laugh and cry with some other

To lean on someone and get a hug

To spend time with timeless love

Live

I'd better stop living in your day dreams

No matter how lovely they maybe

Soon I'll have to wake up to reality

I am submerged as you float

Deep in the fog of illusion

Blinded to see only what I please

Paddling happily over the confusion

I maybe lost but I cant help it

I've tried to wave it off

The choices you make aren't always yours

You've found the path to Lost

Just like You can't say the punchline before the joke

Or reveal the mystery before the story

You have to wait for the perfect time to say how you feel

Silence, unspoken words

Smiles and tears

Unexpressed emotions, unexplained gestures

Trust and fears

Thinning the grins that made us squint

Erasing the memories that we built

Breaking the sand castles we spoke of

Washing it with the next wave

Maria Yousuf

I was a spectator in your circus show

Watched as you did what I asked you not to

But the consequences wouldn't be yours to face

You'd just walk away without a trace

You drew me in and left me standing

In the ring ablaze with fire

I hadn't learned those tricks, didn't know how

So I stood helpless without a savior

I stood among the chaos

The chaos that you had sparked

A penalty of you faults,

A penalty you had called

Maria Yousuf

Entranced, inebriated

Vigilant of what's happening

But incognizant of how

Haiku By Maria Yousuf

I want to get away from recognition

Live in lost solitude

No one to quesetion me or worry unnecessarily

Be left alone... on my own

Maria Yousuf

I want twirl with the violent winds

Ballet with the intensity of a storm

I want to be inebriated with passion

Before my breath is gone

Maria Yousuf

Silence Scares Me

Silence scares me

Its static screams in my ears

Alerting me of the stark surroundings

It chokes me, encloses me

A reincarnation of my ancient enemy

It alerts me of the predator around me

The emptiness of nobody

I feel the palpable darkness

Of standing alone

Silence scares me

Scares me as it screams

Maria Yousuf

Whats not meant to be will never be

No fist full of sand will stay

No grain of time will sway

Haiku By Maria Yousuf

I don't follow constellations,

I make my own

And that one leads me to your heart

Haiku By Maria Yousuf

You see that cloud up in the sky?

The one that looks like a smile?

That's me when I'm with you

Haiku By Maria Yousuf

A soft ache, a tender tear

Finger loosely locked

The yearning to remain near

As Shakespeare quotes in Romeo and Juliet

"Parting is such sweet sorrow"

Maria Yousuf

In the heart of a bud of tender petals

Lies your vulnerable innocent beauty

You soul

Haiku By Maria Yousuf

I found a diamond

A diamond that outshone all gems and jewels

Your heart

Haiku By Maria Yousuf

Pot of Gold

It's the other side of the rainbow where I wish to go

To get that pot full of gold

The gold of your friendship and presence

The gold of our bond and understanding

All glitter may not be gold

But I know what is

You are...

You are My pot of gold

Twin Poetry: Reality

Enveloped in the fog of dreams

Drenched in their belief

Lost on the path of fantasies

What is my reality?

Khawaboon key dund mey lipti hui

Unn key yaqeen mein bheeghi hui

Kahaniyoon ki rahoon mein khoeei hui

Kia hai meri haqeeqat?

Maria Yousuf

Yeah...

You made me a stranger in your affairs...

Now you are a stranger in my life...

Haiku By Maria Yousuf

A friendship has faded

Vanished in the wind

When you don't feel like talking

Or know how to begin

So adieu to you

Eroded promises

Maria Yousuf

I want to tell you a tale

Tell you a story

With my Haiku Poetry

Haiku By Maria Yousuf

We are the tree

Never alone but always lonely

In the end its just us, our roots and nobody

Haiku By Maria Yousuf

When the festivity abandons

You see the vulnerability

A single trunk in your gallery

Haiku By Maria Yousuf

Seasons come and then they go

Fruitful moments, colors and songs

But they are never meant to last long

Haiku By Maria Yousuf

The bark is left bare

With pathetic stares

And no admiration

Haiku By Maria Yousuf

Slowly the leaves start falling

One by one

Down to none

Haiku By Maria Yousuf

White Rose

Upon a bed of water I float

As my fragile petals soak

But I travel far to return whole

For no matter how breakable, I have hope

I will walk the path that is untreated

Rather than the one which is worn

I will choose the path which is guarded

The one no one chose

It maybe underrated and fenced

But I will know that I am safe

I will walk the path you didn't choose

But I wish the destination is you

Maria Yousuf

I keep my heart guarded

Censor every word to what is right

I don't want to be caught guilty when I'm judged

Haiku By Maria Yousuf

I am not a transparent crystal

You can't see through me

I am more of an opaque stone

You see what I let you see

I could have told you all so easily

But I'm glad you had to leave

I don't think I could have let you be

After all I could have revealed

Maria Yousuf

Encrypted Morse code

I tell you my secrets secretly

Send a Morse code for you to read

You read it all and nod in acknowledgement

But only I know what I have revealed

I encrypt my Morse code

Don't tell you anything at all

I encrypt it with antonyms

And spell it the other way around

I wish you would know the hidden note

Know what is spelled in decode

I want you to know but I don't want to say it out loud

I wish you would decode my encrypted Morse code

Soaring Wrong Winds

I'm at the edge of the cliff, ready to take off

I hope I don't begin soaring the wrong winds

Winds that I wasn't destined to fly with

Winds that weren't meant to elevate me

Wrong currents beneath my wings ascending me

I won't risk soaring those wrong winds

So I'll block their current or wait for them to pass by will

I wont risk gliding their flow to experience their thrill

I wont take that chance I wont take that risk

I won't let their allure drive me off the cliff

Maria Yousuf

Cause

My curls fall over my eyes

My eyes feel a bit damp but I feel no need to cry

My heart throbs a little, slightly wounded, hurt

It feels bitter sweet, more bitter than sweet

No apparent reason why or why not

Can you be a stranger to your own feelings?

Or are you capable to ignore and overlook them?

Can your heart and mind confuse your sentiments?

Or can other reasons cause such a throbbing ache?

How can they resonate the same way as a heartache?

I can't reach the core of the cause

Can't figure out why

I am happy but I feel a little prick

A prick that tells me not entirely

It never felt like something more then why am I sad?

Spinning crazy in your insanity

Mind stopping me?

This chair is beginning to hurt :S

Haiku By Maria Yousuf

I reveal history in dirt and bones

Unearth the secret of past lives

If only knowing you would have been as easy

Haiku By Maria Yousuf

No matter how much I tell you

You wont ever know what I don't

The core of my heart

Only known to one

Invite me to observe the sundial of your life

Or watch the sand grains count your day

Invite me to escape the gray under your umbrella

Or dance together in the rain

Maria Yousuf

Spending time with time

I spend time with time

Live in the present

Perform the mundane tasks

Look for something exciting in the bleak

Search for happiness on every sidewalk and street

I spend time with time

Go through yesterday

Plan about tomorrow

Wish to travel back and relive the smile

Wish to go forward and kill the anticipation

I spend time with time

Count the blessings I had

The things that didn't go wrong

Things that did but could have been worse

And the things that made me happy and smile

I spend time with time

Wait for the next dawn

Look forward to the happy moments to come

Grateful for the next breath I breathe

And the life that I still live and feel

Spending time with time...

Travelling The Day

I sit up in that sycamore tree

Earlier than dawn to later than dusk

I watch the first pastel colors wash the sky

And watch the first grains of time go drip drop

I watch the descent of the sun

Watch the enigmatic colors light up

Watch the diamonds make way on black felt

Cushioned in that velvet

Till end I stay and travel the day

But all is too enchanting for me to not stay

So I decide to spend the night away

And watch the transition again from dusk to day

No matter which path you chose

Or destination you reach

You will always turn back to me

Haiku By Maria Yousuf

You are a reflection of everyone and everything associated with you so be extra careful with your image, it is fragile...

Being One With the World

I could sit here by the window and taste the breeze

Relax with the pastel of dawn and breathe the surreal calm

I could sit here and watch the world embrace love from the beginning and fall in love with its morning smile

Knowing its our time to share our locked up happiness and tears

I could sit here and wait for the orchestra to begin playing and the passion to rain

For the time when brilliance and exotic tango and for ardently displayed art

I could sit here and wait to watch the coral sunset dawn on my wall and sweep me into its surreptitious fantasy

Knowing that I'll be back with its whispered secrets.

Being One In The World will Never Equal to Being One With The World.

Maria Yousuf

You've got a Home in my memories

An abode within me

You've built my structure of Love

Haiku By Maria Yousuf

You linger on my mind

Not entirely there but present

You walk stealthily into my thoughts

Not an entire part but a fragment

You have sought a place in my sub-conscience

When I deprive you of the awareness of your existence

Maria Yousuf

Don't push me away

Or stand walls in between

Don't break my trust

Or assume what you haven't seen

Don't

Or you'll lose me forever

Maria Yousuf

Sometimes

Denial is a mask over your deepest wish

Refusal is a tomb encasing your heart

And Unwillingness is fright of rejection

Maria Yousuf

Don't Say No One Cares

You may walk around like you have no feelings

Act like you don't care that no one cares what happens to you

You may make people believe that you don't hurt anymore

Just because the past has broken you

But I know that you wish contrary to what you exhibit

Wish they had been there for you instead

I've got a message for you

If they weren't, we are

And always will be

We may not be bound by blood

But we stick together through thick and tough

So drop that guard and come on in

Our group hug awaits you and your happy grin :D

Don't ever say no one cares

That which comforts you could cause to become obtuse

That which may seem glaring could become your trigger

Maria Yousuf

Inebriated with adrenaline

Knowing it will only last a while

Awaiting the intoxication to wear off

And walk away with a smile

Maria Yousuf

Nostalgic

A nostalgic feel

A breeze bound with memories

A bit sweet

A bit warm

Comforting

Like a warm embrace

Evoking

Exhuming emotions onto the surface

Recollecting old times

Preserved memories tears and smiles

Remembering it all and secretly wishing

To bring it all back again

Maria Yousuf

Was I wrong to stay away?

Was I wrong to keep safe?

From destructive trusts

And fake friendships?

Maria Yousuf

Don't use my vulnerabilities against me

Use the moments I shared

Don't use them to hurt me

Or you'll shatter my trust in whomever I care

Maria Yousuf

Nocturnal Lights

The Dusk always dawns

And night always falls

You may wish it were always light

That the sun would never go down

But that’s the cycle of life

It’s when your stand in the dark

That you recognize your true friends

Know who stand by you and who leave

And as truth reveals

They all abandon you

Those whom you believed in

Or were the roots that held you

Were the trunks that supported you

Or the walls that listened

They all strand you alone

So when facing the dark

Don’t seek guidance elsewhere

Don’t ask for assistance

People may be there for a while

But then they all fade

They fade into their own lives

Seeking their own light and guidance

Asking for assistance from someone else

Finding roots and trunks to hold them up

And may be lost in their love

The guidance lies within

The nocturnal lights not only shine in the sky

But shine from within you too

They are the strength you own and the faith you have

The hope you harbor and the belief you grasp

Let them guide you

On the face of this earth

And the path you walk

Guide you to the path you seek

And the path you wish to follow

The nocturnal lights awaken when all else is asleep

When everyone leaves

They guide you when the night is blinding dark

And when you are alone

Let the nocturnal lights guide you tonight

The Sky is my Canvas

The Sky is my Canvas

When it awakens

It becomes an empty canvas

And the travelling clouds my art

When dusk dawns

And night falls

It reveals a new palette

Twinkling stars

May it be night or day

In the tundra or on the highway

I will always have a canvas to cast my art on

Clouds by day

Stars at night

Neither will ever be gone

The sky will forever be my canvas

No matter which path I am on

Maria Yousuf

Sometimes I wonder my life is really bland

Without heartbreaks or future plans

And then I think The Great Planner has it all done

A plan and a future for everyone

Maria Yousuf